Living Or Dead? Poem by Brittany Gorski

My heart beats
My lungs fill with air
I can walk and talk
But am I really living?
My thoughts are filled with death
Filled with thoughts of suicide
My mind is spinning with these thoughts
A gun?
I might miss
A knife?
The cuts are never deep enough
Pills?
I might just throw them up
Carbon Monoxide?
Takes too long
Hanging?
The rope may break
Burning?
Someone may save me
Drowning?
I may float upwards
All my attemps have failed
And yet I look for more.
More exciting
More reliable
Living or Dead?