Looking In Poem by John Nanashi Trowa Barton

I see your shattered tired soul
Broken to pieces by all the girls
You give them love and in return
You feel all they did was make you burn
Hell is far from that tattered thing you call a heart
Each one of them gave you something special
They gave you the unique shape by tearing it apart
and sculpted who you are today, a beautiful piece of art
There's the first long ago when you were young and gay
the next a flower to set up the path you feel of pain
Another, Davidson, to lead you by the hand into the rain
One to pull you of the bike and show you the wrong way
One from far away to set your sights on the road less traveled
The next your best and most cherished Rilfe never been shot
and the Current whom you've given the lot

But they all took up the space you had
overflowing the holes that were made
where do your friends and family lad
where do they fit in your patched up plaid
You abandoned them they did not abandon you
still some wait to help you, through and through
You won't let them in looking for love
you won't let them in your whole hearts been carved
carved for that one who never seems to stay
maybe you should fill the holes before you pour the water
You may as well fill it with air, just as it won't matter

You feel you can't trust them because they're not near
but you pushed them away, they are far from your fear
So when you scream and shout that you have no one
look inside and see how you made your holes wide and clear
there's no room for water to be held by more than one
there's nowhere to run and nowhere to scream, to hide
because of your own foolish pride

You want it all back your heart aches
all that you had could once be again with out the mistakes
but you let your heart get this away and thus you kept them away
You are alone, scared, and sad, of your own free will
So maybe you can fix it if you start over today
Considering you just looked inside and learned today
Why you are the way you are, that's looking in.