Lovesick Poem by Mycho Jamil

I spent many pages
Recording our feelings
But I can't fill in just one blank
Something's missing

I had to admit, you're beautiful just like an angel
Like how could a beautiful creature live in this ugly world?
I cannot deny it
It'd be a sin if I lie about it

There are a lot of things I admire about you
Like how your smile fill this dark world with hue
Like how your laugh awakes my slumbering heart
If I were an artist, you'd be my art

But then I realized things doesn't stay the same
Because change is inevitable
And somehow, it puts me into shame
That I left countless letters on your table

People always come, but then always go
Even though it was never easy to let go
But why did our fates intertwine?
And why did you suddenly let go?

Meeting you was a coincidence
But loving you was fate
And you always give me confidence
To go forward and create

Do you know the feeling of uneasiness?
When you miss and worry about that person?
I was excited to live with you with all the time we had
But now I'm downhearted, knowing that you couldn't take what I'd give

I remember the day you said to stop this
You left me hanging, blinded, confused, broken
And it even hurts to hear and see your name
Like I haven't seen you in so long

We had the chance to live in our beautiful world together
Until that meteor came and ruined forever
The meteor that made a boundary between our actions
The meteor that put limitations to our conversations

A fatal heartache
Why does it hurt when I remember you?
It's not like we broke up
But the flame we had, it all burned out

There was never an ‘us'
I know that very well
But it felt like you've held my heart with yours
Why does it hurt then?

This sudden anger and regret
It makes me want to shout and cry
And I want to hurt myself the way my heart was hurt
It's futile and absurd, but it relieves me somehow

If you were far, I'd feel incomplete every minute
I never had a moment where I never thought of you
Hours can move to minutes, but minutes take a longer to break
But still, I will be desperately waiting

I just sensed that my heart split into two
I heard it crack inside
I can feel its continuous bleeding from the inside
Spilling every love it contained, obliviously wasted

I thought I had the chance
I thought we could both finally dance
But it was all an illusion
And I've fallen in its delusion

A drastic heartache
It actually hurts when I see you
Because I suddenly remember all of our awesome moments
Slowly fading, and it hurts severely

Maybe it wasn't real for you
Maybe it was just a remedy for you
A remedy for your broken heart caused by your past
And it's still in your mind, you perhaps can't cast

Maybe I was selfish
Maybe I wanted you for my happiness
But what's wrong with that?
Aren't you happy? Or did you even want me?

It might seem that I'm the one using you as a remedy
But honestly, it doesn't work that way
I know that you're the only one who could heal this pain
That's why I wanted you to be with me

Not that I'm using you just to heal me
But I want to live with you
Because I know that even if we encounter pains and hardships
You and I. We can overcome it together

But you made me lose hope
You made me doubt
Not because you've hurt me
But because why you suddenly let go

I'm so broken, seriously
And I've been living cautiously
Living in this defiled world
In which my mouth can't speak a word

It's all so tragic
Hearing and feeling this pain
But even though I feel this way
The way I see you and feel about you, it never changed

I still hope, even if it's hopeless
I still expect, even though it's predictable
Because I believe in you, I trust you
I still have faith in you

I'm already sick of being sick of this sickness
This sickness from my heart and soul
Which have changed my perspective
On how important you are in my life

And I'm trying to find a chance
To be with you, to talk to you
To smile with you, to laugh with you
To cry with you, to love with you

And these chances are rare
But I'm giving my all for it
Because I don't want to lose you
I don't want to lose my other half

So can you please tell me?
On what you're thinking?
On what you're feeling
So I could somehow comprehend

Because being lovesick really sucks
It takes away all the reasons to be happy
Because all I could only think about is you
But all I can do is just stare at you from a distance

Don't leave me yet. Don't say goodbye yet.
We still have a happy ending to finish
And I know happy endings are stories that haven't ended yet
Or is it still possible to live a beautiful story with you?