Mask Of Meth Poem by CHARMAINE SIMPSON

The strength and power you hold –
I gave to you.
You came into my life when I was weak and alone -
I needed you.
You gave me instant comfort and shared my pain.
You made everything seem so clear.
You allowed me to stop crying and face my choices.
You helped me live through them,
By becoming my strength.
You shielded me from the hurt penetrating my heart.
It was as though you had the power to take everything,
Everything I felt- and direct it away,
To a place it couldn’t harm me.
You were the only thing that worked.
You were the only thing that dried my tears.
You were the only thing that kept my heart safe,
The only thing that I could trust,
The only thing that gave me hope,
The only thing that allowed me to see,
You gave me strength to go on.
Can’t they all see what you mean to me?
How can I ask you to leave now?
Thank you but now - goodbye?
I am scared to let you go.
You are my support when I need one without explanation.
You are my friend when I need one without judgment.
You are part of me now -
A big part of me!
I feel a victim to you -
When you are in my mind calling my name,
Like you now need me to weaken to you.
When at first you made me stronger,
Now you beg me to crumble!
Every time you call –
You win -
I crumble! !
You tell me I owe you -
For the times you were there when I needed you.
Now I don’t need you so much -
You feel me pulling away,
You hold even tighter -
Scared I may slip out of your reach.
It is like a relationship of a lifetime.
Without you Is like leaving my best friend forever.
Like going on in life without my legs or my arms.
An amputated limb although gone -
Will always bring pain from where it once belonged.


July 2005