Mandy Author2

Me And Introductions - Poem by Mandy Author2

We just don't get along
He makes me nervous
I don't know why
He drives me crazy
I don't understand him
He won't leave me alone
Even though he doesn't know it

I talk a lot
Introductions are different
He gives me this feeling
Like butterflies in my stomach
He makes me think way too much
I have too many what ifs
He doesn't know how he makes me feel
To be frank I don't think I want him to know
Or do I?
If he finds out it might end up like last time
Just something to laugh about

It's been weeks
I still haven't made the introduction
He doesn't bother me as much now
Small talk isn't something I'm good at
Suppose I never make the introduction
Would it bug me as much now?
I'm so close then I change my mind before
I say something dumb
I'm standing right there but it's like he doesn't see me
Might as well be invisible

I have enough to think about
Without worrying about introducing myself to him
But I can't stop thinking about him
Does he see me and chose to ignore me?
Am I really invisible?

I don't understand why I feel this way
I feel like I'm losing my mind
I have never been one of those obsessive girls
But am I turning into one?
This isn't the me I'm used to
What is happening to me?
While my mind is somewhere else
My three worlds are collapsing
Falling into one big pile in the middle

The butterflies, what ifs and him
Are making me lose control of my thoughts
Feelings and how much I tell other people about them
News travels fast around here
My question is when will he find out?
Will it be before I make the introduction?
Or after?
Does he already know?

I should make the introduction soon
Then maybe the butterflies and what ifs
Will go away
But they may never go away
Then what will be the point
Maybe I really am losing my mind
I have to decide soon before I do lose my mind

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Poem Submitted: Thursday, December 3, 2009

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