The wounds began to build up, quicker than I had thought
The pain began to amplify, from the lies others had wrought.
I sit alone, in my room, thinking about my life
Backing away, taking a look, at this world of strife.
I lean back in my chair, letting a deep sigh escape
Hearing all those lies replayed on an endless tape
My mom telling me about the little joke of fate
How I was a mistake, There was no love, only hate.
My whole life has been one wound after another
No matter how much I looked, I couldn't find a soul brother
No one to help me through all my suffering an pain
No one to keep my dry through this world of rain.
So, I sit up here in my room, afraid of the light
Switching it off, not sure how much longer I can fight
Alone in this world, wanting to be set free
Wondering, if anyone in this world would miss me.
And then, I think I make my decision
To plunge into the dark world of sin.
I finger the tip of a blade, wondering if I should cause a flood
To cut into my wrists, open them up and see the blood.
Or I could just as easily throw the throttle,
Drive to fast, or take all the pills in the bottle.
Could drift away so soft and quiet
Would my passing even cause the smallest of a riot
I can feel the tightening of this world's noose
Tightening around my throat, not letting me loose
I can feel the darkness closing in around me
Blotting out my vision, I don't think I can see
Is this death, is this what it feels like to die?
I don't know what I am doing, I don't know why?
Why did I choose to end it all instead of living?
Now that I am dead, What I am giving?
All those people that i Had let down?
Just because I let my troubles wash me up and I drowned
In the sea of my own transgression
When I realize now, I had my own mission
There are people out there, that need me
People who looked at me as their only key.
Then, with a gasp, I rise from my sleep
I had been lost, in the world so deep
My unconscious mind had tried to tell
That if I ended it all, My world would be hell
Even if my whole family tries to destroy
All that i Have built, treating me like a toy
There is still someone out there, who looks up and sees
A person they can trust, perhaps a hero in me.
So for all of you, who want to end it, who wish to go bye
Think of all that you are leaving behind before you die
Think of your friends, I am sure you have one.
Think of your unborn children, your future daughter or son
Think of the memories you are throwing away
Because you can't hang on for just another day
I know I know, no one knows what you feel
No one has been what you have been through, don't know what is real
Trust me on this, you are completely wrong?
If you think you are alone, you are singing a false song.
You are not alone, other have been where you are
Others have felt worse pain, and have worse scars
And they can live and fight and strive for more
Keep on trucking no matter how sore
Pick themselves up when knocked to the floor
Because they love memories and just want more.
But this isn't a plea for you to not die
This is a plea, for you to ask why?
Instead of looking to the bad looking to the night
To stop dwelling on the dark, and live in the light.
Because if you weigh the good with the bad
And look at these things without getting mad
You'll understand that the twenty or less years
That are past you, are filled with many fears
But also, somewhere, there is happiness and joy
So turn up your head, You girl, or you Boy
And remember all those around you
That mean something to you, they love you.
And they, they are the reason you need to keep living
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.