Meditations Poem by dan hightower

To refrain from imitation is the best revenge. – marcus aurelius


So here I sit in my decadence, replaying the past ten years and searching for something worthwhile and nothing comes, something to be proud of but nothing comes, something to justify the means but there’s no end in sight for this. Hell I don’t even know where to start. Did the slope begin that night of the ninja suit or was it the night I fell down those stairs or the night where I had nominal aphasia from ingesting some pharmaceutical or another or… I wonder if this version of life is all too common or is it a truly unique path I have chosen? Regardless I feel the need now to purge the past, to regurgitate it onto these pages, to transfer the tears and blood, through this ink, to you… do you want it? Well if so then proceed and if not then now would be a grand tyme to go back to that skinny low fat no carb no taste latte as you peruse the rows of books you’ve no intentions on reading but hoping rather to appear as though you have the intention just in case anyone is watching and yeah, I have been there, doing the same as you are now, looking for a cover or a title or a name to stand out because life has grown dreary and it’s tyme to escape, the bag of pot is running low and really how many tyme’s can you watch those same fourteen dvd’s until you come unglued and sever the heads of my upstairs neighbours to make neat little punch bowls from their sawed in half craniums for which to serve chips ‘n’ dip at the next get together of all the couples whom you despise for being in a relationship while still you hiss at anyone daring enough to pursue knowing you more intimately than a one night stand because your heart is fort knox and they haven’t a clue what shape the key takes. So, enjoy…

To refrain from imitation is the best revenge said wise marcus, and I agree, though potentially not in the same respect in which he meant it. I refrain from imitating the lifestyle and societal norms others project either willingly or simply due to evolutionary instinct. Why do we have to subscribe to these pre-set laws governing what we call good and pure and worthy and successful? What is this pressure to perform, to put on a performance and for whom? The players are the audience to your play and the cyclical asinine production never begins or ends, it just swirls until all the participants are panting and perspiring and confused and entangled and intertwined and no one is distinguishable and no one is any different from the mangled arm of the dangerously good looking person to their left while on the righteous side their last remnants of self fight for segregation, for limitations on assimilation, for the option to not be. We are imprinted at such an early age with this version of life as spouse, child, home, career but why? To whom does this benefit? This structure was not always the preference and I would wager if given a clean choice, untarnished by nurturing, that our natural state of being would be very much a far cry from this manifested and mass produced false utopia… ah, that being off the chest now I can get down to the real nitty gritty and tell you my story, with no great romance (except her) and no great obstacle (except me) and no great ending, here is my tale