Metro Poem by Jim Aldrich

I can guarantee
that you've never seen
stone cut abs like these.

My spray-on tan
and my workout plan
give me fifty shades of self-esteem!

I pluck.
I preen.
I'm buff.
I gleam.
I primp
with a puff
and it's never enough.

(Need BandAid elastics to patch your fantastic abrasives that scratch all evasive reactions to stasis.)

I've unlatched Gucci cases.
I've peered deep into windows at Macy's.
Been places most men avoid facing
without a sound foundation
(thankyou Coverguy™️ blend) .

My family is amazed
by my vanity
but more by the vanity mirror
I glazed with some glitter
I had on me.

Don't be mad at me.
I'll take hormones
to help me
to help you
to navigate my anatomy.

I swear, one of us HAS to conceive.