Midnight Fears Poem by Jessica Millsaps

These are not dreams,
For dreams are filled with greatness,
Flying over a perfect cloud,
Swimming deep into the depths of the sea

No, these, these evil filled visions,
These are nightmares
Nightmares, filled with horrible sights,
Evil thoughts fill my mind,
And devour it,

They destroy my happiness,
They bring me no joy,
They give me no lingering will,
Instead, I am filled with a fear, and a fright,
So bad, I no longer sleep at night,

My mind searches for the answer,
Trying to rid itself of these demons,
It works and it works, to the point of exhaustion,
I sleep. I cry. I scream.
In anguish, I hold out my hands,
But still, that perfect smile is plastered to my face,

It's all they see,
It's the only part of me they know,
The only part not cowaring in fear,
For the pain they remind me of,
It has tortured me, and ruined me.
I have fought for my freedom,
But I remain shackled in the secret prison

A deep abyss, filled with horrors,
Enough to crush any other,
Yet no matter how much I will it,
I cannot be destroyed completely,
I cannot disappear, and never return.
Instead, I am forced to face horror that I cannot

I cry out, I am weak,
I am filled with hopelessness,
And I hope only for such destruction,
Breath comes not easily,
Yet still, I labor on,
No, not out strength or hope,
No, out of fear, and hatred
Running deep in the rivers of my blood,
Deep within in me, in my very veins.

No part of me is whole,
No part has seen the true light of day,
No part has known true happiness,
No part is still a part of that little girl,
These are my very nightmares,
My evil memories,
My heart filled with little good,
And my own little secrets.