Sebastien St. Fellmore

Miscalculations - Poem by Sebastien St. Fellmore

nine plates of my total trust
nine plates of my eternal love
all to you i'll serve forever
to my moon, my goddess, my dove
my voice is lost in endless night
you, the moon, spark my fight
the battle within to tell you all
theirs our winning, mine will fall
to the floor to lay in dirt
my secrets within excite the hurt
secrets screaming to get out
all to you, i have no doubt
you are the moon, way out there
i want you here, it's just not fair

a beacon of trust i hope you'll give
for me to see so i can live
when were apart my heart is strained
when i'm with you i feel no pain
for all you deserve, i am inadequate
i tell my heart 'do not fret
she will realize how much we care'
'she never will, it's just not fair'

you strike my heart's most trusting strings
it longs to tell you all those things
that keep me up late at night
those things that cause the awful fright
'all these things she want not know'
'you'll never know 'less you ask her so'
tumbling in this endless plight
heart and soul in eternal fight
'we love her so, we both know that'
'but an eyelash she has yet to bat
to acknowledge that she even cares'
but i love that moon, it's just not fair

the moon, the moon, my only guiding light
you must look down on me with those eyes so bright
your servant i will always be
i wish i knew how you felt for me
soon the sun to push you away
i’ll hate the sun, there’s no other way
it separates me from your goddess presence
it hurts so much, am i doing penance?
i know for me you just can’t care
i hate the sun, it’s just not fair

the moon’s the only one for me
o! the moon, if she could only see
what i could do if she let me try
a chance she’ll never give, so i sigh
a sigh of sorrow and numbing pain
your lack of acknowledgement drives me insane
your beauty is too much to bear
i’ll go blind, it’s just not fair

i love your skin, your ears, your back
i love everything about you, i can’t keep track
your everlasting lunar glow
i love you moon, you’ll never know
to what extents i will go
to strike my pathetic lover’s blow
an arrow through your brilliant gaze
to you my hands will be raised
to ever hurt you, i wouldn’t dare
i love you so, it’s just not fair

i wish you liked me, i wish it was true
but that, my moon, you will never do
you are there, i am here
parted too long i start to fear
doubt chokes my courage with fear
i want to taste your emerald tear
for, i feel, it will help me out
in slaying this thing they call doubt
with the moon all my secrets i’ll share
but moon you’re too beautiful, it’s just not fair

i dream of the moon every night, every day
i’d compliment the moon, but what can i say?
nothing i say can do a thing
to make her look at the gifts i bring
my trust, my love, my eternal worship
she does not accept, and my heart – it rips
to lie no more in her warm bed
twists the emotions trapped in my head
forever together is my one dream
me and the moon, and her endless gleam
just one wink from that emerald eye
just one wink and then i can die
forever at peace with memories of her
i would be happy, that’s for sure
moon, you’ve soothed all my turmoil
now i’m one with mother soil
when i’m with you there is no despair
forever? never! it’s just not fair

while i’m with you, delightfully i quake
when i’m not, desperately i shake
all the words i need to speak
no, i can’t, my words they reek
no words can ever capture your essence
the reddest rose – a weed in your presence
the spotlight, on you, should always fall
the greatest story, nothing but scrawl
the tallest building, a hill of ants
you’re perfect face leaves me in a trance
among the stars you’re fit to play
among the stars you sleep by day
a perfect face in a perfect sky
i reach for the moon, i try and try
but the moon’s too far overhead
in her footsteps i dare not tread
for i would spoil her moon-lit charm
she’s too good, i’d just cause harm
enough is what i’ll never be
pity is what the moon gives me
the moon and i, what a pair
hopefully forever, it’s just not fair

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, May 3, 2008

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