Misery My Constant Companion Poem by Zora Zorsia

Dear God

I stand before you
Almighty Powerful Holy King
No flesh jacketing my soul
Naked before you

My life, on earth was a pain
My mind often unstable
I went through days and hours in schizophrenia
I never knew what I was ought to do
As I changed hour and again
I was in bondage
Your Spirit did not set me free

On days I thought I was alright
Eventually I stopped fooling myself
I accepted my fate
Though I wished I could hope for a better fate
You oh Mighty King, seemed silent
My mind did not see or hear you

I was desperate
I became one with my misery
He was I and I was He
We were incapable of betraying one another
He wouldn't leave me
Neither would I him
He wouldn't let anyone take His place
Neither would I let anyone take his place

I felt he was more faithful to me than all the people I had in my
life
Misery knew my deepest darkest secrets
I could not betray him
He grew greedy
Wanted to be fed all the time
Wanted me to feed him on depressing hopeless tales
He ate on me if I had no tale for him
I stopped doing things just so I could feed him

I stopped performing well
I failed at everything
My relationships were all a flop
Misery was happy

On days when he'd take vacation
I missed him
Couldn't live without him
I wondered when he'd return
I found myself being unable to concentrate on anything
Because my mind was consumed by my other half
Love of my life, certainly not
Life partner, he was determined

Dear God,
I have so many why's
I am afraid to ask
For for who am I to question the artist
But you oh Mighty King
You know all, you shouldn't ask
But I cant tell you what/what not to do
You knew my heart's deepest desire
You knew my greatest need

Yes you met my greatest need, That of salvation from eternal
damnation
But was that all it was suppose to be?
A saved but miserable life?

I guess I will go on now, get down to duty and worship you
For your splendor is beyond any human comprehension
Your Majesty unparalled
Your greatness much to be praised
Your wisdom bigger than any thing imaginable
Your love felt beyond reach

But, before I do that
May you please just cuddle my broken spirit
tell me you love me
tell me it is well
Because if you tell me Oh King of Kings, then all shall surely be
well
Then my soul will be broken no more!