Misfit Tears Poem by Lorain Santo

My soul hurts. Am I lost?
I think the best person for me to be around right now
Is me
Forget the company

I cried like I’ve only cried once
I cried for you
I cried for him
I cried for all I have lost
I cried for my unborn children, for the future we laid out
I cried for the absence of my happy ever after

I cried while moving on
I cried for him
I cried for all the self-inflicted pain.
I cried cause my heart just won’t learn
I cried because I refuse to be hardened and bitter by old hurt

I will not be another statistical black woman
Hurting others because she was once hurt
I am not misunderstood
You all see me
You know what I am
But for many, I am too much to bare
Don’t bother with me, its ok. I didn’t cry for that

I need to learn to let go
I need to realize
That you are as dispensable to me as I am to you
I need to stand taller, flex my back broader
So that I don’t get crush while holding up this heavy weight
This world tries so hard to break me
Make me another victim
While it grins, crossed arms, feet up
I try to fight back
I don’t want to give in
But will I ever fit in?