My Complicated Music Piece. Poem by Amanda Larsen

I saw you
I heard the song
It was as if I heard my voice
the melancholic chords
the melody
it played my broken choice
I fell in love with every line
I fell in love again
Again
with every single time
Until the song was in my mind
Until it was all you would find
if y'ever looked inside

You let me have the sheets
only half-believing I could learn to play
your complicated music piece
You told me only me would have the right
to try
the light it is
the dark it is

Hunglrily my fingers played
And I still searched for clues
between the notes
My need to learn wont fade
And I was closer every day
To understanding one more phrase
To understanding you

Difficult
It's difficult
The tears that fell over the keys
when disapointment brused my trust
and helplessness over the sheets
But I don't want an easy piece

And through the song I saw myself
I understood the pain I felt
The practises, the hours spent
And I would love to waste a million years
on learning what you ment

'But it deserves a flawless play'
my unexperienced self would say
'and I could never play that way'
the insecure in me would pray

But I still break me on the piano
I still stay until the sun
And practise
let my fingers run
And study
'till I understand
the music
that would make me cry
the music
for whitch I could die

My complicated music piece
See I can almost play you now!
See I can almost make me proud
And I still fall in love with every line
Your music
I still find
I need to play it all the time

Overrated happiness.
Who said I want an easy smile?
Who said that spotless joyfullness
is what I seek to find?

I need your complicated fears
I need the darkest wrong
I need the pain, I need the tears
I need your only song...