My Father Poem by Nur Meiyati

For a few days I was swayed back and forth
With a mixed and a flip flop feeling
I could gain my control again
I decided to inform my family, especially my mom
About our coming baby
So I was there in my parents' house
I did not see my brother as he lived in another town
But two of my three sisters visited my parents
They always did it whenever I came home from the town where I studied and worked
All my sisters and brother were married
They were all married young

Then time to tell about my pregnancy

I knew my mom was sad for me
It hurt much but I tried to show that I was all right
My sisters dropped their tears
My father just listened quietly
And said nothing

He was a studious, serious, and reserve type of person
In fact he did not fit to live in a village, in such collective society
He could not be much easy going like all of the other villagers
He has gone from home since he was a child
Struggled for life and became a student soldier in the first clash with the Dutch
But he loved and protected us, his children, very much

I had never been too close to my father
As not like my sisters, I was sometimes very obstinate
But I knew he sometimes mentioned me proudly
To my relatives and neighbours
As his clever daughter
I could feel he was very happy
Every time I got ranked at my schooldays
And intentionally I studied diligently to get good marks
Just to make my father laugh happily
When I graduated from a university
He kept the photo of my graduation in his drawer for a few days
He could not finish his study in the university
As he married my mother and had to work as a civil servant
My university degree repaid his abandoned dream to study
Although in fact at that time his education had been relatively high enough
Compared to other people around
In the earliest years of the independence of my country

Oh, how I wanted to hear his opinion
He should have slapped me
But he did not do that
However I knew he was disappointed