My Foresaken Night Poem by joanne tallarico

if light were to shine my way,
would i notice?
am i so used to seeing darkness that regardless of the bright light hat shines so deep infront;
amI walking around that light?
am i happy being tormented
or am i just petrified of release?
am i so used to holding onto these chaotic burdens,
that I am horrified to let go?
Is there really light?
or just pure darkness?
i search over and over for answers,
i have exhausted myself with the hunt for serenity.
but, what if that serenity has been staring me down all along?
have i been too weak to pursue it? am i so afraid that I make darkness my destiny?
am i destined to search alone?
alone-my biggest fear-
does the darkness sense that?
and does that same darkness use that weakness against me?
or is it me,
whom drags myself through this eternal hell?
am so petrified of smiling deep within my soul?
or,
is it the deviance of the night that holds me down into my
foresaken dungeon?