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My Heart Doesn't Feel What My Body Does.

I new the moment i stepped through that door something was wrong, i was to excited, happiness filled me and i overflowed with joy.

A smile from me to you, a greeting sure enough to make you smile as well from me to you, the love inside me and my happiness i shared with every face that passed me.

Letting it be known that i was on top of the clouds but i had no idea why...but once my body stood still and felt a familiar feel, i felt the shift in my surroundings and the heaviness it carried.

I turn to see you and i know something is wrong, but i pretend all is still well and i greet you, you call my name and turn to leave, im scared now the words 'i'm leaving'..hit me and i drop.

Where did my smile go..give it back to me, why did you do that? Don't look at me, just give back what's mine this isn't right, it's not fair...even though my face shows no emotion. I'm hoping you can hear my thoughts hear the screams in my brain, begging you to please don't do this to our friendship don't ruin what we have.

You want to discuss it later and i don't because talking about it will only make what i feel worse im trying to be ok with this but i'm so far from it. I'm..Not....Ok.

I don't want to feel like i do my heart doesn't hurt but my body its cold, it throbs, pain pierces me and i try to build on it but it wins. Continuing to put holes into my skin easily nothing can stop it i'm trembling, but yet my heart beats steady..unbothered. What is this?

Why can't i show how i feel on the outside, why wont my heart react, why doesn't it hurt like my body....i can't think anymore my brain is tired, My Heart Doesn't Feel What My Body Does.

You broke my happiness, stole my emotions and pretended you didn't see my reactions. Now that...thats some real true bs but i miss you and you haven't even left me yet, though i feel your already gone. I didn't get the time i needed to prepare myself for this its not right, i can see your ok with this unless your lying to me because the concern you show when no one else is around tells me something completely different.

Don't let me be alone in this pile of mess that we created together, pull me back up and help me to stand over it and just look back on it and still be able to smile about our memories.

Please dont break my body and leave my heart whole untouched because you refused to hold it, at least help me glue back the parts that are starting to tear apart so that when you leave over time ill heal and hopes ill soon be ok again.
Im unsure of what to cal this one but it was written because i was feeling some kind of way about my friend moving away because we had started a more than friends thing and my words were coming and going then...gone im still upset but god will fix it i have hope i just really dont wanna lose the friendship when ive already lost him physically i wont see him because he is so far away (fck facetime i need to feel you so i know its real) .

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4/16/2021 6:45:37 PM #