My Hollywood Journey. Poem by Nikhil Chandwani

While staring through a local magazine the other day

I saw an ad for actors with the skill of stamina and stable mental state.

the word was new to me, but they promised a dream pay -

I wrote the number on my palm and figured this was my luck and fate.

At home I rang the number, it was answered by a bloke,

I told him I had talent and stamina, he replied that's really good,

he said I have an appointment tomorrow, and don't bring any cameras.

I went to bed a happy man, and dreamed of Hollywood.


I left my camera phone at my home,

then drove to the address I had,3km south.

an underground house with a tattered quote: “Desi Blue world” above the door,

I combed my hair and cleared my throat, promising a success without a doubt

I knocked but nobody seemed to hear, I pushed the door and went inside,

a blonde sat at a typewriter, she looked so hot and cute,

I stood there like a statue, and my eyes were shining blue –

the blonde was rather pretty, and was in her party suit!


She told me not to worry, this was her normal dress.

whenever they were shooting, all the workers went nude all day,

she stood and walked around the desk, and things got rather warm,

but when she bent to get a file I fainted away!



I woke up in few hours, someone asked if I was right,

I kept my eyes shut tight until the dizziness had gone,

I couldn’t see much anyway, so brilliant was the light,

the only thing I knew was I had next to nothing on!



I, ashamed and shy, started hiding my erect antenna

a camera crew was watching, every one of them was nude,

I looked at all the nakedness, and my hear beat raced

I had to keep my cool, or I would have got screwed


A guy then yelled out “Action! ” and I heard a camera whirr,

two sexy girls came in, and neither one had on a stitch,

one started playing with my knee, and kissed my back.

the other asked me if I’d be a doll and poke her itch!



My hands were shaking as I put my arm around her waist,

I tried to get into the scene, I couldn’t simply watch,

she pushed my head into her lap and said: “Here – have a taste! ”

the other finished with my knee and headed for my crotch!



I jumped up to my feet so fast Michael Jackson hit the floor,

the camera man applauded, and the two girls aahed and oohed,

I didn’t wait to hear it, but went racing for the door,

I opened the door and faded away nude.


I ran shivering in the winter daylight

I ran naked in the streets of wild dogs.

they chased me all over my marathon,

I had to hide myself from them in the wintery fog

I sighed relief escaping a painful dog bite

Then I saw something that added another spice to the day

I was approached by someone people on duty.

A group of policemen approached and arrested me right away

Today, as I come out of the jail,

I think about the crime for which I was stood,

people who were my mates inside had raped, murdered and kidnapped.

I was the only one arrested for dreaming about Hollywood