My Inner Pain Poem by Trevor Schulte

Why does my whole world seem to crumble
right before my eyes?
Why does it seem that for everything I gain
part of me dies?
Can't I just be normal
and have a life full of some joy.
Or do I have to keep this fake smile on
and act like an ok kind of boy.
I feel like I am always the one,
who is left on the bench.
Thriving for a friendship and love
that would make my pain quench.
When I met You, oh God,
I thought everything was over.
That I need not stress,
or compress, this mess, that my life
still continues to address.
Every night I pray to You
that all my inner anguish would cease.
Hoping with my whole heart
to have nothing left but peace.
I pray You'll fix all the worries, the fears,
and my own broken heart.
Helping me to look past all the mistakes I made
and the problems that have torn me apart.
The only thing that keeps me
from throwing in the towel.
Is the promise of our eternal existence
that You, for some reason will allow.
I know that my life's scale
has fallen more than it has risen.
I now understand that You are the only key,
that can unlock this perpetual prison.
Right now Father I'll pay
whatever pain it may cost.
Realizing that without You,
my whole life would be lost.
I beg You now, God,
for my heart to have a different season.
And these tears that well up,
to fall for a different reason.