My Life Is Still All About You Poem by RIC BASTASA

I may invent you as unkind
cruel
stranger to my being
me

i pretend that you despise me
my intention is to drive all of you away
from me

so i may not be hurting to myself
so i can free myself away from your
gaze.

it does not work
your unkindness is my unkindness

it is not fair to what i feel
there is something real about you

you are love itself and you love someone else
i am love too who loves you more each day
and who too loves
someone else

when i tell you
about this
what shall happen to my world?
when your world clashes upon mine
what explosion shall take effect?

there is only this ruin
and i may not run away

i created this world and i live here
you are a star so far away
shining
like a diamond
like
a
dot of light
amidst
and ocean
of space
and darkness

it is my own
darkness
here
that binds me
to you


let me be content
with that faintest light
i know i cannot
reach you

i shall imagine that you are kind
and compassionate
that you too can love me
as i have
loved you
so secretly
in
this tomb
in this
catacomb
of my
dead dreams


i imagine
that farthest away
you smile
for me


now i soundly
shall i
sleep.