My Uncontrollable Merry Christmas Tears Poem by samuel aragone

My Uncontrollable Merry Christmas Tears



Merry Christmas yells my old friend John

Merry Christmas mate hey what is going on

I can't ignore him he has seen me

He would stress if he thought there was something wrong



I look across to see a man of fifty seven

Looking so much more like a man of seventy four

A man who looked much older than his dad

Who passed away just a couple of months before



I don't know how to answer him

Seeing him has become one of my greatest fears

For whenever he offers me his salutations

My eyes burst out in "Merry Christmas tears"



I first met this man many years ago

He was a gentle man with a sensitive heart of gold

A man among the smartest of the friends I know

A man unprepared for the way his life was about to unfold



His number came up in the ballot

He was ready for life but he was off to war

A conscientious objector he just wanted to know

Exactly what was he fighting for



But when he got there he soon knew what was the goal

Patching up broken bodies and bringing them back whole

A brilliant mind he rose quickly through the ranks

For the many lives he saved he never needed any thanks



But ‘collateral damage' to innocent children

Dying parents and destroyed homes finally took its toll

The suffering and the screaming was too much

Too much completely for this soft hearted soul



I met him at the airbase

But the mate I had known was not there

The bloke I was brought home was shell shocked,

Broken and with prematurely greying hair



The psychiatrists did their best

He always behaved perfectly when he was in their care

But his mind was permanently damaged

And he went down hill form there



He was harmless when he took his pills

But he never had gainful employment again

The sheltered workshops did not need him

There were just too many other broken men



So he grew old with his parents

A totally wasted life

No brilliant career for my mate

No house, no home, no children, no wife



When he does not take his pills

He becomes a volatile dangerous man

So for the sake of his parents

We taken him to work with us every chance we can



He is clumsy and a nuisance

But that's not what we do it for

We do it out of respect for his parents

And the man he was before



A couple of years ago

I took him out with me

He sat in the ute mumbling to himself

While I was on a ladder cutting down a tree



I lost my footing on the ladder

And my chainsaw and I were in freefall

Still revving it landed dangerously beside me

My misstep had nearly ended it all



I lay there concussed and bruised

I had a gushing wound on my arm

In between bouts of consciousness

I screamed out to John to raise the alarm



The blank smile on his face

Told me he did not understand

‘Call the bloody ambulance mate

I'm a bloody dying man'



His alert eyes saw the pool of blood

His instinct over rode his uncomprehending ears

Faced with the dilemma he moved

He moved quicker than I had ever seen him move in years



Lying there semi-conscious

I did not see what he was doing

Would I survive this ordeal

There was really no way of knowing



But years of practice patching up

Every man that bullets did not kill

Meant that though he had lost some of his mind

He had not lost any of his skill



When the ambulance arrived

He insisted on coming along for the ride

When they rushed me into emergency

He refused to leave my side



When she arrived at the hospital

The doctors took aside my wife

They told her the work my mate had done

Had certainly saved my life



My wife reached over to hug him

Tears of gratitude streaming from her eyes

My mate John, no longer comprehending

Reacted completely with surprise



The emergency was over

It now seemed as if he did not care

Even in my feverish state I knew

My mate was no longer there



My morphined mind wondered if I died tonight

Would I go to heaven or to hell?

If it was to be in heaven

Please dear God bring my mate there as well

Because that's just where this gentle soul should be



But I survived and now there I am

Working hard across the street

There he is on the verandah in his chair

Rocking and dangling his feet



When I do not answer him

He yells out ‘Merry Christmas again

God bless you

My very bestest friend Sam'



My eyes well up immediately and

My tears begin uncontrollably to flow

I mumble back ‘you are my best mate John

Better than any other friend I know'



I do not want him to see me upset so I dry my eyes

And excusing myself I turn around quickly to go

But I heartily wish him a heartfelt Merry Christmas

Even though I know Christmas was six months ago



And that's how it always goes every time he meets me

For it was Christmas when he returned from the war

Whatever time of the year it is when he sees me

In his mind it is always Christmas nineteen seventy four



And as I walk away I whisper

Merry Christmas my very best friend John

I have been missing you so badly now for years

And just as quickly as they had left- they returned



My uncontrollable "merry Christmas" tears.