Never Intended Poem by Mandy Author2

Never intended for it to be this way,
Hostile glances,
Fear of getting too close,
Not wanting to walk away,
Watching you walk away without saying a word,
Just when I thought it was getting better,
That it was going to be okay,
This happens,
And now I’m back to hostile glances,
I’d rather have hostile words than hostile glances,
The bitterness I can work through,
The silence I can not,

Spending too much time,
Working this out in my mind,
Trying to fix this,
But having too much pride and too little courage,
To really fix this,

Sometimes I wonder,
If I should have left well enough alone,
But me,
Being me,
Did not,
So now I’m stuck with this,
Through no one’s fault but my own,
Though you are to blame,
For some of this,
I could not have caused this on my own,
But an apology,
Is on my mind,
Every time you walk by,
With that apology is a smart remark,
That would destroy the apology,
So I keep quiet,
Not wanting to make it worse,

Each day I get a little closer to my goal,
Which is,
Of course,
You talking to me again,
If even just one word,
But until then,
This silence,
Will slowly destroy me.