Sheri Kirc


No Longer Here - Poem by Sheri Kirc

I keep the music turned up
I leave the kitchen light on
I read and write and smile
It's pointless
Youre no longer here...

I've stopped drawing
I've stopped dreaming
I've stopped talking
What's the use?
Youre no longer here...

I keep the music turned up
For if i don't the silence will consume me
I keep the kitchen light on
Or else i will fear to leave my room 'till dawn arrives
I read to bring myself to a happier place
I write to try and heal what pain reading cannot numb
I smile so Trish won't worry
It's pointless
Because youre no longer here...

You were my world, my life, my light
You were always so warm and full of spirit
Seeing you on the hospital bed, still as stone
It shook me
But it never really struck me that you were gone
'Till i took your lifeless, ice-cold hand in mine
The pain killed something inside of me
Every day i wake, looking for you in vain,
Something inside me dies a little more

I don't understand it
I don't like it
This isn't me!
I don't want to fade! I don't want to be forgotten!
Trish is here for me though
And that brings me comfort and happieness
But who will remember me when she is gone too?

I don't understand the world
So i hide away from it in this silent, empty house
You are no longer here
You can no longer help me understand
We knew each other so well, we knew what to say

I put your ashes upoun the highest shelf
I can no longer bear to look at them
For if i do, i will surely start screaming

I no longer celebrate the holidays
Nor my own birthday
What's the use?
You are not here to make them worthwile

I cannot feel much of anything most days now
This confuses me greatly
If emotions and desires make us human
And i am slowly but surely loseing mine
What does that make me?
Something less than human?
A heartless monster?
I do not know, and you are not here to tell me

Mother, I miss you so
Trish and i seem to be the only ones holding on to your memory
My siblings and so called family never even calles to pay respects
You were right about them
But it still hurts to think that they care so little for us
Youre no longer here
Your death a cruel dagger cutting me to bleed evermore
And it has killed everything that kept me sane


Poet's Notes about The Poem

this is the result of the last known family (that actually cared about me) dieing. its the first time in a long time that i have shown anyone my work. i just needed to get some of this out. [Aug/24/2012 12: 49 AM]

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Poem Submitted: Friday, August 24, 2012

Poem Edited: Friday, August 24, 2012


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