Not A Fairytale - Poem by Indya Berkley
She wasn’t jaded she was tainted, yet her heart still remained.
She liked the sunshine but she learned to dance in the rain and
when it hailed she sprinkled down some salt and prevailed; this is the story of a girl…but it ain’t no fairytale.
She could never be picture perfect, compared her insides to others outsides; she was always lurking.
Never thought she could amount to being anything her voice was crippled and she didn’t sound the “color coded same”.
This little girl used to cut inhaling sobbing breath, deep slices on her arm she tried to kill herself.
People in her family said she wanted some attention, she didn’t fit in and at school she always landed in detention.
She wasn’t the baddest she was average and she was fairly smart. There was a hole inside her from the knife in her broken heart…everyday it felt like she was falling apart her first experience with love was with three boys at a park.
She had a great start to some it seemed, she would smile through her tears and she would daydream about getting straight A’s and making a change.
She dreamed of bright lights and killing it up on stage but she couldn’t control her depression it turned to self-hate and as the rolled on she had a few dates with rape.
Her mom was so distraught her baby girl was wasting away; she did her best to help but there was nothing left she could say.
Her hips got wider; clothes got tighter and showed off her brown legs and for the price of her soul you could take her to bed with her you would have a time you would never forget though in the morning one would always regret.
She blazed a trail straight through hell and might never come back. Things got worse she went from this to that. At 18yrs old she went from snorting to smoking crack.
At any man’s request she’d bend and gently arch her back; death was in her sights she relentlessly attacked.
Through her insanity she bounced through different states,
inhaling smoke clouds and snorting off different powdered plates. Anyone could see this little girl had really lost her way…she had been looking for love in all the wrong places;
searching in all the dead ends and all the empty faces.
She would always find that one that wanted to love her, that special guy who would put nothing above her.
They loved her smile, her style and her laugh would make them excited; they’d been with others but this girl was nothing like them. It always ended pretty badly for she was extremely damaged and every one of their hearts was left wounded and bandaged, but for her the seed they left will be forever planted.
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Indya Berkley's Other Poems
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