Not Now Poem by April Avalon

In silence my lips have been drawing the shapes
Of phrases, so vague and deprived of a meaning.
My dreams are about to find an escape
To where the end always meets the beginning.
My black and white fears have got an excuse:
I still have the world - in my heart and around.
I'm no longer free - I have something to lose.
The more I deny that my freedom has bounds,
The better I see them, the more my heart frets -
The twilight has failed to appease me somehow.
I'll lose it all soon, but I'll never regret.
My lips keep repeating: 'Not me, just not now'.