Numb Poem by Sophie Wightman

Plunged in the ice cold water,
But I cannot feel it.
Someone bring me some warmth.
I drown, but my lungs are not screaming.
I won't let you hear my screaming.
My head burns and my heart aches,
But the pain can't touch me.
The water stifles my air.
I feel it leaving me,
But the thudding monotony is beating me.
I don't need to call for help.
I want you to.

There is no pain,
No fire to be seen,
But I know there is one there.
There is no rush or problem.
There isn't anything.
Nobody can dive in.
I won't let them.
They can't reach me.
I like it here sometimes,
The quiet, the calm.
I feel safe here.

Leave me.
No, take me with you.
Let me bring the water with me.
Help me carry the buckets.
Help me fill my ocean,
Then leave me there to sink.
I will not know that you are gone.
I will not know that I am drowning.
I'll just sink,
The water surrounding me,
Enveloping me like the embrace I need so desperately.
I can't feel the pain.
I don't care if you're there or gone.
The water is my home.

Leave me here.
Let me drown.
I won't blame you. I won't care.
I like it here.
I feel safe. I feel calm.
I feel scared. I feel alone.
Come back for me.
Please don't go.
I need you with me,
I will try to send you away.
I care,
I promise,
But only just for now.
Please, I beg,
Take me back.
Let me drown.