Olivia Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Olivia

It is late
-late at night
-carry books under arm
-could not read
-not a page
-was mule or llama
-horse, camel, instead
-worked and worked
-door to door

Life is shit
-money based
- "Don't have it?
-Go to hell! ! ! "

But that is just
-one side
-was born, raised
-to become a robot
-with veins and some flesh
-no one cares for brain

Am in search of that part
-when have rounds
-and drive

Now walk down corridor
-each corner described
-in nineteen-eighty-four

Doors are latched
-most of them
-half open
-cans or shoes
-in frames

Most people behind doors
-are Chinese, elderly
-brought in by their kids
-or users, abusers
-for reasons I don't know
This one is my nights' pain
-place is government's
-for those with low income
-is alright for the cold in winter
-but the heat is not fought
-some afford and buy fans
-most do not
-so, the shoes act like Sikhs
-for Brits; hold the doors half-open
- (not chillers, conditions)

Strong I stand and issue firm orders
-when I take bag to go on my rounds
-as I did as when was an officer:
- "Attention eyes, ears and brain;
-observe well to record each action."

That is how I saw her
-in the heat
- (crazy are seasons! In the fall
-the heat is thirty-one…)

Waiting in bus-stop
-it is noon or around
-she searches for the shade
-of a single tree
- (hardly finds…)
- (the trees are long gone
-and replaced with the dens;
-sold as house…)

In the heat bubbles out
-the sweat in drops to go down
-as rivers, streams with flood
-on her face, or the neck
-as if rain in desert, or a bush uprooted
-on the run or turning to stop; go again
-as moves a rattlesnake, with breeze

Her face looks like ocean
-in times though, small lake
-shallow waves, linear or circle
-and go down

Eye of mind follows them
-the drops, streams
-end in the cleavage
-wide open as can be
-a desert or ocean

Salt water is good if
-wetted, licked
-but chokes, kills
-if in lot, swallowed

"Hey lady…"
-want to say:
- "…let me lick…"

My heart says:
- "Stop jokes…
-go to her but offer
-giving ride…"

Interrupts the logic:
- "Don't do that…
-in these days…
-when we are equal…
-and men are the devils…
-she sees it as ‘Harass'…
- ‘Harassment'…
-then you will…

I carry loads of pain
-lost in me and outside
-questions line:
- "What is right? "
- "What is wrong? "

I push foot on brake
-slow down
-head for her
-suddenly
-turn around
-feel mixture
-of love care in my bones!
Back at work
-all worn out
-in the heat of the hell
-I think of
-taking in something cold
-an ice-capped
-slushy
-ice-cream

"Anything…"
-I tell the bartender
-at counter

On the bench
-suck in with straw
-talk with Mike

A white car in front
-huge for little girl

She chitchats on the phone
-and giggles
-moves around
-and I am a poet
-telescope
-microscope
-camera

She stops
-turns on car
-wants to leave

I signal:
- "Do not go;
-Let me watch…"

She rolls down the window
-asks me what I had meant
-I approach, explain
-give her card
- "Am poet…filmmaker…
-enjoy and admire beauty, cuteness…"
-Olivia, she is and we laugh, hug…