Once, Was You.... Poem by L_J Kortisses

We were steady.
Unshakeable.
Sure.
Solid as rock.
So how did something so small ruin everything?
All it took was one small act. One small little passing twitch crumbled everything beyong recognition. Amazing how pride destroys an empire.
Oh I tried.
I tried so hard to love you through it. I tried so hard to push away the sourness, the rotten, putrid, horrid nightmare that dwelled at the very pit of my stomach.
It turned my heart to blackness.  That little ball of flame engulfed vomit constantly reminded me of your disgust, your foulness, day after day. 
But I continued.
Day after day.
Month after month.
Year after year after year.
I loved you.
I loved you so much.
I loved you unconditionally.
I loved you so firmly and so loyally. But you couldn't just take my love, accept it, hold close to you.
No, your eyes wouldn't even see it. You rambled. You wandered.
You quit.
You were always a quitter.
You quit everything you did.
You never finished anything unless it was to your fancying. To your benefit.
Your pleasures were always first place. 
Never second.
And I kept loving you. I loved you till I hated you.
I loved you till I hated you with every cell in my body.
I couldn't fix you.
I couldn't change you.
I really just wanted to kill you. Put the misery out of commission for all of us.
But no, that's not the way we do things.
So I quit.
Little by little.
I quit putting forth so much effort into you.
I started to die.
I really did die I believe.
I was gone.
I didn't exist.
I was an empty vessel, just drifting along. But then,
I felt a spark!
I heard a voice!
I saw a spark!
I started putting effort into myself again.
I started to rediscover who I was, what I wanted, where I was going and I reflected on where I came from.
And I found HOPE!
One glistening shimmer of hope. One single grain of magnificence on the shoreline.
And I seized it.
I grabbed a hold and I refused to let go of it.
I built upon it.
I GREW.
I could breathe.
I could see and hear and feel like never before.
I COULD LOVE.
I loved again and I felt love.
I felt life inside me where only darkness was.
The blackness was fading.
Light was returning.
Life was returning.
Love returned.
I loved and I felt love in return and I will feel love forever and ever and ever....
And it will never go away again.
It will never hurt again.
Love is beautiful.
I AM LOVED.
I have found love that will be firm for eternity. ~ Lacey J. Kortisses
6/14/17