One's Assimilation Poem by Shalia Robinson

As I breath you inhale…
When I need you, you want to bail…
Your selfish tendencies I cannot bear!
Your slander voice towards me is unfair.
How much do I take?
Before I make a decision that would become a mistake.
Regretting….
Disconnecting…
Til it’s no longer relaxing
But intensity….
Lying in the darkness not able to see
Pushing my very physical being
To disagree with my spiritual beliefs and feelings.
Fighting in this building…
Yelling and confusing the mind set of someone trying to be a saint.
Building falling to the ground
Hearing the info structure crash and not be able to stand.
How long would it continue?
Before it is bifurcated into solitary.
Silent …
Longing for the serenity in the surrounding of the presence.
Hungry for light and a sense of connection
To belong and stick together in the warfare of this fight.
To live right!
But you stare at and me and say I am not worth the sight.
Nor the battle…
Leaving me to negotiate on my own.
But you wish for change…
However, Your reactions are still the same.
Negativity is what I encounter.
Positive influence is what’s needed.
I believe it because God does not dwell where there is confusion.
Why do you want to disfigure what is left?
And push away help….
Tell me how much do I take?
Before I make a terrible mistake.
And react based on what I feel
Which is rejection, dishonesty, dislike, disloyalty, dismissal, inconsistency and disorganized!
Like I have to acclimatize to your circumstances.
How much do I absorb?
Before I give and forget all that I worked hard for.
To be able to stand and articulate what I endured.
I exhaled and you secured yourself
Closed and blocked out my input.
Ready to give your suggestions and opinions.
Leaving no space for corrections.
HOW MUCH DO I ACCEPT?
TIL I cannot no longer abide what’s submitted.