Partially Clean Poem by Emma Sinclair

Why do I feel so unwanted
in a place I feel at home?
Why don't they want me?
Can they hear the screams of self doubt?
It's been nine long months
Since I last put a blade to my wrist
she said he was my fault
my hurt was deserved
he didn't even care
he said I was too fat
all the thoughts are still with me
the ones I use to cut to
but here I am still clean
please last a lifetime
I never want to go through that shame again
I have a blade in my room
I use it for art and parcels
never would I imagine
I wouldn't think of cutting
I'm not happy
I'm not fully clean
But I haven't cut for nine months
and that's all that matters right now.