Pearls Poem by Sebastian Seal

While diving off the coast of Sri Lanka,
I found a great pearl that made the grade.
A german seal stole it and said 'danke',
And swam off with a mermaid.

I set off in pursuit,
Ostensibly to catch the thief,
Though the mermaid was rather cute,
And our meeting was far too brief.

Across the Indian ocean,
And into the South China sea,
I caught him and caused a commotion,
And ended his naughty crime spree.

I returned to my rockpool home,
With my pearl, and mermaid in tow.
I realised she was an ugly cyclostome,
And so the mermaid had to go.

The pearl was precious, maybe.
Its iridescence made light twirl,
But it transpired that it was a baby,
And it called for its Mother of Pearl.

Its mother was a terrifying thing,
It looked like a giant clam.
Covered in jewellery and tacky bling,
More punk than glam.

Discretion is the better part of valour,
But I wanted to keep the gem,
So I threw her a half-eaten cavalla.
She coughed and covered me in phlegm.

The clam tried to punch and kick,
She grabbed the pearl as we fought,
She turned and swam away right quick,
And all my work was for naught.