Perfect Disaster Poem by Andrus Cassian

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
My audience
My audience of one
my audience of ten
my audience of who is grateful enough to listen
I know you've heard enough of me today
but I just need a distraction
I just need an outlet
I just need to vent
I just need to getaway...
I just need...
I apologize to you Trapt
for I have use your line again
'Well what do I want, I have nothing to say'
Why does it have to be about what I want anyway
What I want doesn't matter
it just doesn't matter to me
The words spilled over sloppily, pathetically
and honestly I could have put it together better
but you know me
my mind is scrambled mine field
of scattered thoughts, memories box
assorted, decorated souvenirs
I'm sorry
If I wanted to point the blame at anything
it would be Wednesday
If I wanted to point the blame at anything
it would be towards Ariel for provoking
provoking the hatred to come out
but I want to point the blame at anything
so I'll just say, so I'll admit maybe it was me
the master avoider
the master of disaster
perfect disaster...
My love of mine to constantly spill the name Ever After
though I forgot the tie to it said
'I could be your perfect disaster'
courtesy of Marianas Trench
So what I love betrays me today
So what I love I lose today
somehow befitting
I did say I wouldn't be surprised if I lost...
and I lost...
I don't have to be present to feel
I don't have to look to know
Nothing has to be said
for my deepest fears are true
I lost...and it may as well been all my fault
In my alternate dimension
did I suffer the same fate
or am I still happy
still caring
still smiling
In my alternate dimension
did I lose Love Letter
did I lose everything
did the things I hold close today
betray me
or did I not pay any attention
I don't know
I'd rather not
I'll just let myself get back
to being intertwined in Love Letter
while I sit here in present time
Feeling This...