Plan B Blues Poem by Carolyn May

Lust

His strong arms graze my back

Oh how I crave his touch

Sensual

Hearts beating fast in 4/4 time

I might be over thinking, again

He is with me so I am content

Why don’t boys like to be cuddled?

He was 20 minutes late for our date, again

Confusion

My mind tells me this is wrong

He whispers lies into my ear

I believe every one of them

The taste of the alcohol he bought for me caresses my lips

He holds my hips

My body is in the hands of another

We are now one entity

I am on a cloud

He lets go of his moon, his sun and his every star

He shrouds my fertile self with his galaxy

History

Ours is tainted with dishonesty and despair

Why are you still in my bed?

Frustration

How could you do this to me

You know I’m paranoid about these things

I just can’t believe you would do this to me

Stupid Boy

Him

He is all-knowing and I am a naive girl

I don’t know my own body

I am being too dramatic

I am overreacting

He is all-knowing

He would never fill a girl up with his moon, sun and stars

and then leave her

He promises he would stay

Lies tickle the insides of my stomach

I believe every one of them

He leaves

12 hours pass

Trust turns into mistrust

I can’t believe him anymore

An uneasy feeling hollows my heart

He is but a pedestrian to my world

Walking in and out of life

My worries will swallow my heart

I have 10 hours

Reality check

My heart has been with me since day one

My heart has been inside me since day one

You’ve been inside me since last night

You are not going to manipulate me

and ridicule me, and lie to me

My body is special

I am not going to let you simply

create space inside me

just so you can have me for tonight

and fill me up with your galaxy

for 9 months

I’m not giving away my 9 months

to someone so self-righteous

so undeserving of all of me

My body is an art piece

He robbed me of my purity

What am I to do

Fatigue

I escape into slumber

I awake with the truth

There are two little pills that can change everything

Breakthrough

This is the day

I am stealing

I am stealing back the power he stole from me last night

I am resilient

I am a strong woman

I approach the strong pharmacist woman

Two pills, within 24 hours,100 % power up

I am at 8 hours

I feel uplifted

Those two little pills will give me strength

Stupid burden of a boy

Last night his shadow eclipsed with my world

for the last time

No more 9 months

No more having to spend eternity with this gloomy shadow

I don’t need him to feel strong

I don’t need him to feel beautiful

8 Hours

Swallow, power up

I am wanted

My body is my art piece

He does not treat it as such

I will never be treated as anything other than special

Oh and

He had a tiny rocket