Poem 5 (Alas To Be Or Not To Be) Poem by C Jay Caputo

And alas thy moon is high
I sit and ponder the question to be, or not be, in love.
I sit in dismay as if I have any control.
The heart wants what the heart wants,
Like a bee that urns for the sweet nectar of a delicate flower.
Yet my heart remains hungry and urns for something much more graceful and addictive than a delicate flower, another heart.
The heart of one close in dreams, and far in reality.
A heart belonging to one I know, one I trust, and one whom I love.
A heart so close to my own.
One that beats in time, as does mine.
To think I've lost control? As if I ever had it.
I cut my heart from the prison I call my chest and let it loose, to hurt and inflect pain upon it self. For it wages war in greater terms, I let it free, to fight in the selfless battle of love.
I am as a soldier, ready to take on any defeat that shall come into my threshold.
But, I, AM, AS, A, SOLDIER, determined the out come may be victorious.
Yet the heart of my own tells me, a battle of physical arms is in essence, a more painless journey to embark on.
With this knowledge I still venture onwards, pressing into the unknown.
Uncertainty surrounds me.
I embrace what I know and leap into the abyss confident I am able to handle the outcome, what ever it may be.
I know my arsenal is not on my side
The heart I fight for cannot be wooed with subtle words.
Words of intellect, beauty, strength and perfection.
Even if true, and may they be!
For I can only try for sport.
I drift to an antidote
I ask the question not only to my self, but the heart I am fearful of not retrieving
Is the truest of hearts the one that beats the loudest? Or the heart that seizes to beat when love isn't around.
The heart that beats the loudest is always beating and it beats for all.
Yet a heart that only beats when love is around, and seizes to beat when love is absent proves the heart will only beat for love and nothing else.
You are my love.
I speak with confidence and certainty that my heart is the truest, but I remain fearful your heart is one that seizes to beat.
A pessimistic view I can't help but wonder, through my own doubt and fault of course
I could only take ones word.
I thus not be lied to out of pity, I respectfully ask for that little.
For my thoughts wander and elude me again.
Once heart to heart with the love I strive for, I can only fall short in comparison.
I ask upon my opponent to realize my imperfections and embrace them as ones own.
But know, I kneel before thee as an unworthy jester holding the key to your heart.
And know I don't ask for it, I only offer you mine.
May they one day interlock.
For it is all I can do.
I give you this key to with as you wish.
May you lock it and hold it forever or shall u drowned it in endless sorrow and despair.
May you let it sit and collect dust or may you use it gracefully.
I wear blood on my sleeve for you,
I offer up my heart to be as a vast wilderness for you to search and explore