Pointless Denial Poem by Eman Awad

I knew it's a long road that i won't go far,
before i realise i'm tired but i kept on walking.
I knew i couldn't convince my heart to heal that scar,
i knew it's all in vain but i just went on talking.
I knew that this poem will never ryhme,
but i kept on writing till the ink got through.
I knew that you'll never be mine,
but i kept on hoping and i kept on loving you.
I knew that i'll try bitterness and loneliness,
but i kept on smiling and laughing and pretending.
I knew but i couldn't admit that my life was pointless,
for if i admitted that, i'd know that it's the ending..
I saw it all but i told my eyes not to see,
i felt it all but my heart couldn't stop to feel.
Every time i run into a mirror and it's me,
i remember that it's not a dream,
i know that this pain is so real...
I never lived in denial and i hope i did,
even if i did, denial is also pointless, i fear.
Destructive and painful words, he said,
but i stayed though i knew it was pointless to stay,
though i knew it was so pointless to even hear...