Prayer Poem by Don Pearson

When I watch a football match
In you I do exult.
I’ll pray more often if you could
Just get us a result.

When I compete on Sundays
It’s for Thy Glory, Lord.
With a gold medal round my neck
It’s you that I applaud.

I’ll dedicate this tenner
and place it in thy name.
I’m sure you’ll see me right, Jesu
and help us win the game.

Please don’t think me frivolous
For asking this of thee
But I could use some help today
To win the lottery.

Oh, God, our help in ages past
Our hope for years to come
My wife is always nagging me
Could you please strike her dumb?

I dropped some acid just last week
I’m sure you see it’s true
It helps me to believe that I
Am closer, God, to you.

I love my children dearly
I’ve just put them to bed
Perhaps you could watch over them
While I get off my head.

I’ve got some crumbs and fish bones
I hope that’s all you’ll need
Could I beseech you, Jesus
My family to feed.

I like cocaine and heroin
I also love a drink
But when I’m in a stupour
It’s you of whom I think.

I met a Sally Army man
Who said he fought for you
I left him bleeding on the ground
My faith had seen me through.

I killed a stranger yesterday
He thought my rituals odd
The priest told me it was all right
I did it for my God.

I met a virgin at the church
I took her to my bed
But thoughts of Mary, mother of God
Were going through my head.

I’ve worshipped all my life, Oh, Lord
All that I have is thine
The smallest gesture on your part?
Fill this flask with wine.

And when I meet St. Peter
With his bunch of heaven’s keys
I can say, with hand on heart
I’ve served you all my days.

But if my prayers aren’t answered
And you don’t bring me luck
I’ll turn to Shiva or to Ra
You ingrate divine ….


(Dedicated to religious hypocrites, should any exist/Dec 2000)