Random Thoughts Poem by Chantelle T C Huggins

As I search to understand my emotions,
And try heading in the right direction.
Something happens deep inside me,
Something that no one but me could see.

I'd love to scream and let it all out,
Let it all out with a shout.
I'm left here, in doubt,
In doubt of what I'm about.

The words that make no sense inside,
The words that jump around beside.
Scattered thoughts, emotions and feelings,
Should not be a part of our beings.

New year, new decisions to be made,
New feelings and emotions, old ones must fade.
I'm not allowing negativity this year,
But i know it's still going to appear.

Falling asleep while still being wide awake,
I'm able to see the steps I take.
Steps taken while being asleep lead me to places,
Places with many strange faces.

It's then I realize here's not where I want to be,
These are not the faces I want to see.
I don't want to be surrounded by negativity,
And yet negativity is my only pity.

It follows me around in the night,
It heres my every plight.
It calms my nerves and eases my pain,
It happens to be my only gain.

I gain success out of nothing.
I die inside because of something.
I tell myself it's nothing.
But deep inside I know it's everything.