Rebirth Poem by Marco Jimenez

everything's blurry
there's no blood flowing through my veins
needles are poking me all over
im drowned by every dropp rain
but this is impossible
because im not outside
im dead all over
but i couldn't be more alive inside
Ive never been happier
but Ive never seen so much hate
there's not that much love
and there's a lot more debate

i struggle to my feet
my body weighs like 2 tons
i dropp yo my knees
i start to crawl towards the wall
i reach out my hand
i can actually feel it with my fingertips
but there is no wall
oh my god!
what the hell is going on!
it seems i have lost my voice
so i cant shout or scream
wait a minute
i hear something
someone is starting to sing

its a woman
NO a man!
its just so beautiful
now its even harder to get up and stand
how does something so beautiful
cause so much strain
so much anger
so much pain
i need to get out of here
i am stronger than this weight
so i block out the singing
when my head suddenly cracks
then i fall to the floor
in a million shattered pieces of glass

im in a gigantic field
the grass is dark green
one million pieces of glass
stared down by the same thing
each piece then melts into a silver liquid
and at a certain point
they all form an idol puddle
i start to rise from the center
i constantly stumble and fall
each second becoming more solid
becoming stronger, stronger
smarter, taller
gaining heart
gaining soul
gaining personality
im almost whole
im still learning
still growing
im getting stronger
but
im getting older
my body wrinkles
im getting weaker
my body shrivels

i fall back onto a chair
and im just sitting there
im staring t the ground
unable to sigh
unable to frown
unable to stand
unable to walk around
then suddenly an angel rises from the ground
she looks at me
and realizes im down
she looks into my eyes
and suddenly i can see
she looks at my legs
and now their free
then she looks at the rest of my body
now i can stand up straight
so i jump up outta my chair
and i thank her right away
im young again
im strong
i feel like i can do anything
but i feel like doing something wrong

the angel then grabs me
and she hands me a knife
she says stab yourself in the heart
but do it quick
and do it right
then she vanishes into a breeze of white feathers
and im still standing here
with the knife in hand
my arms and legs are shaking
i can barely stand
i dont understand

she gave me my life back
i guess she deserves a piece of my heart
but only a small part
im not gonna give it all
what does she expect me to do?
cut it out and leave it on the floor?
then die!
and do nothing more! !
WHY! !
why should i do anything for her
as if she did me the ultimate favor
why should i kill myself for a reason i dont know
for a cause not of my own

im tired of this now
i wanna hear the bell ring
take me outta this place
this nightmare
this dream
whatever this is
i want to be somewhere where i know who i am
a place where i know what i cant do
and what i can
a place with only the good
not the bad
a place where everything i want comes to me
a place where whatever i believe is the only belief

A perfect world

if only i were there
but im not
im still here

there are walls now
they turn in patterns
left
right
right
right
left
left
left
right
and then it starts again
and each has exactly one colorless door
only on
when i suddenly come across a wall with one more
the second door is green
so i walk up to it
i put my hand on the knob
im afraid to turn it
so i figure
why dont i just knok
but right before i do
a voice says 'come in'
it sounds like an elderly man
so i walk inside
and i feel this energy
its warm
its soothing
its soft
its energizing

an old man sits in a chair
then he asks me
what the hell are you doing here! ? !
this is my domain
now take the angels knife
and slowly push it into your brain
and leave this place
and never come back again

as i walk
i unwillingly carve my memories out of my mind
and as i do this
my body looses time
everything is getting bigger
its getting harder to walk
i no longer understand how to move and talk
and just then it becomes very clear to me
its been right there in my face
that i am now a baby
now i can start life again