Life was lost in that silence of night.
Once again, there,
We had come to a deadlock
Reminding you
Cutting my breath
drowning me in wishes
and killing me with if's
But silencing with good-byes.
Caught at night,
To the one I escaped in daylight
And you were the only one
Even when escaping that ı
Found myself arriving.
Why was it always you?
That I was looking for…
The one that I scribbled on
Remembering, however, the best things in life
Are hidden
Under those rough drafts.
I know you'll still be there
When I turn that page.
My blood freezes,
Till I dont feel the cold anymore.
Thoughts come to an end
But if's, lots of if's
Keep haunting me.
If,
Because if the life stops for any of us
And if I regret,
I regret because I couldnt forgive you
And not forgive myself forever…
And what if
An enormous feeling of regret
Will keep haunting me every night?
Scares me a lot.
I look at your eyes nightly
But you never see me.
Maybe you became the wind
Or maybe you're hidden in the melodies.
Yes I know it is true.
Because ı feel you.
But fear won't let me go…
The fear of never forgiving myself
For I did not forgive you
For ı closed the door purposely
When, in fact, I wanted it open.
Isn't the heart of a woman
Consists of secret rooms though?
But what if you'll hold the key forever?
And what if I'll be locked?
Questions…never end.
Secrets…
Nights…
Dreams…
Reflections dont stop.
I want to sleep.
As if I'll find the key in another planet.
Because dreams are my favourite
And everything's a reflection in this world
Which I take to a far away land.
And which I find when I sleep only.
Frames…
Melodies…
Characters…
But I need more music
The noises of the leaves…
They're insufficient
To take me away.
I'm still looking for it…
Finally I'm dragged to autumn then
Maybe I'll get lost,
But I know it's better
Than to tolerate the truth.
I close my eyes and,
Frames…
Melodies…
Characters…
Leaves are drifting away…
Wind blows, sometimes you're there
And sometimes not.
Wind doesn't always show you either
And once again I accuse myself
Because dreams are offended too;
Hiding you from me.
And the key is still lost…
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
My blood freezes, Till I dont feel the cold anymore. Thoughts come to an end But if's, lots of if's Keep haunting me.- - very nice poem.... so many images, reflections, symbolic writing .. love, eyes. reflections. character......... so many ideas packed up in one very good poem. thank you dear poetess. tony
thank you so much!