Reluctant

sometimes just too tired to defend.
Let the harm drops soak my heart.
It's gonna take longer than a day.
To dry it.
Hope there is another time.
To cure it even it's not forever.
Just wanna try it.
Then I'm gonna do it.
Smugly look at my self.
It's not gonna work.
Long way faces me..maybe.
The doubt comes and occupy.
This harted comes but why?
Should I hate my self?
Let forget it.
Let move on.
Then another comes...why?
only a sec then nothing.