Retard Poem by Justin Reamer

Hi, I'm Sammy!
People love me because
I have lots of friends.
The jocks are cool and
Laugh with me because
They like my big nose.
Women are my friends because
They laugh with me about
How short I am.
They love the way I talk, too,
For they think it's funny.
I make them laugh,
Which is cool.
I stutter a lot,
And my voice is squeaky,
But they think it's funny,
So they laugh with me.

Sometimes, I do silly things
Like wet my pants,
Make involuntary noises or movements,
Fall off my chair accidentally
Because of my poor balance,
Shake like crazy,
Or something like that,
All involuntary,
And everyone laughs because
They love me for who I am.
Laughing makes me happy,
So I know they're my friends.
They even tell me jokes-
About me-
Which make me laugh, too.
I cannot help but laugh.

Sometimes, I'll hear people
Say my name,
And I will smile because they're
Saying good things about
Me since they are saying my name
And how they like my big nose,
And how it's funny when I
Stumble, stutter, tick,
Fidget, say things sporadically,
Grunt, shake, dally, totter,
And so on.
I think it's cool to
Have friends,
And I'm happy to love
Everyone.