Sadness Around The Clock Poem by Poetry Lover

Every day is a new challenge-
Waking up, dealing with life, incapable of change or to keep going through.
Temporal happiness feels nice,
But then the dark thoughts come into view,
Yet here comes another sacrifice.

Started overthinking a bit too much,
Feeling like others are my life's judge.
How did I end up where I never thought I'd be?
I can't help but blame myself
For every single thing a person ever does to me.

Seeing someone and immediately comparing,
Knowing someone: wanting to be better,
Loving someone: feeling like a bother.
When I hurt the closest ones, it constantly haunts my mind,
When they do that, I always leave my feelings behind.

How can I not when I don't think I deserve to be loved,
but just to be sad and sterve?
After making the 100th mistake,
A new wonder pops into my mind, hitting a nerve.
Am I smart enough to think that everything is a piece of cake,
Or is it necessary to be less sensitive and more tough,
Or would life keep going to luff?

I once imagined a bright life and just small things to worry about,
Something happened, I cannot change it,
and now I lay on the bed, wanting to shout.
Every night holds a new problem, a new thought, a new hit,
Bringing only wretchedness, guilt, and plenty of self-doubt,
Burying my persona into the deepest pit.