Say It. Poem by haven gallegos

tell me my worth, tell me i'm wrong
tell me that it was my fault for developing
tell me im a liar, not your child, not your problem
tell me i was in the wrong
say it.

'this wasn't his fault'
making me feel paralyzed, feeling betrayed
not knowing who i can trust
not understanding my growing body
my own mother, my own blood, the one who gave me life
and her 'knight in shining armor'
say it.

tell me i'm stupid, tell me i'm ugly, tell me i'm too much for you
im too sensitive, too gullible
too much like my dad
say it.

'it was a dream' he says
and you believe his word over mine?
i'm only 10...
say it.

i can still feel that paralyzed feeling
squeezing my eyes closed so hard to have any feeling
it all comes rushing back, the cold air, the pit in my stomach
thoughts scrambling my brain
i know i could've done something..
but they don't teach you want to do in this situation in fifth grade
say it.

telling me that if what if i said was true, you would hurt him
but it was the booze talking
telling me im still a liar after 7 years..
i only wish for him to tell you the truth
and make you feel stupid
it okay to say it.

say that you can't stand to be alone.
say it.
say that you hated me my whole life
and this only gave you an excuse to get rid of me
having my grandma text me, to tell you that you choosing someone over your child didn't affect my life
say it.