Scars Poem by eli Eli

My life is amazing
Everything is perfect
So why can't I relax,
Enjoy it
Smile like everyone else

I'm fixed
I'm fine
I've cried for the last time,
So why don't I feel any better?

Don't get me wrong
I feel different
Things have changed
I've left that all behind

People smile in the halls
They wave and say what's up
No one glares at me
There are no snickers
Not a whisper to be heard
No glances
No one looks my way

You asked me yesterday "are you okay"
My brow furrowed in confusion
No ones ever asked
How should I respond?
I turned around and a tear fell

You asked me what was wrong
But I do not know
I have no idea why I feel this way
Everything is great

I just can't help but feel like it was easier before
When I didn't matter
When no one cared
Everyone already hated me
Sure, I had no friends
But there was no one to watch me suffer

I never had to fight
Sit back and hold on
Wait for them to let me go
For the blows to stop landing
Open my eyes
And watch them walk away
It didn't take much effort

When they think they've won
That you're broken because of them
There's nothing left but an empty shell
No one expects anything from you
Every time I didn't cry
When I smiled they lost

I had no one,
Nothing left to lose
Sure, they made the battles so easy to win
All I had to do was keep breathing; exist
But I had nothing to fight for either
I was never truly alive

Everything is great, how are you so tired?
You've come so far, you're still here now aren't you?
So why can't you just smile?
Why do you still feel this way?

The thing is,
When you've been emptied out before
Lost everything, and everyone
You can't regain it all
You can't forget the feeling
Or the lack thereof completely

Their faces will stay with you forever
Ingrained in your memories
Flashbacks come with certain sounds, and sights
Everything that's happened,
Why can't you just let go?

There will always be that hole,
The empty space where you once were
It never goes away
The scars that cover everything
Endlessly reminding you of what you could've had
Who you could have been

If only you had tried