Self Perception Poem by Jennifer Jaeger

I would not presume to understand you
To know all there is to know
My questions sound pathetic and repetitive
Yet they are mine to share with whom I please
To enlighten and to shine
Or keep from even you
Before my thoughts betray me
Before my mind collapses upon me
Leaving solitude and darkness
Snuffing out all light
So I cling to the hope that is my deliverance
As countless times I fall from grace
Never harming those who plague me
Only waiting for the quarantine of the disease
Hiding my heart from watchful eyes
All of them waiting hungrily for my failure
Knowing it will harden me more effectively
When I second guess myself
So I laugh it off until I cry
Behind closed doors
Praying to a god who never hears
Pleading daily for my head to right it's thoughts
And sanity, so close I can touch it
Escapes my grasp again