Selfishly Poem by Andrus Cassian

Putting pen to paper
An art form, a treasured art form spanning centuries
But look at progression of technology
It's becoming mere words across multiple viewing screens
Missing the integrity of what captured gazes and enticed others to gather in masses to hear what was written spoken in complete vibrance
But those days are erased, the world is bleak
A cornucopia of default faces expressed in grimaces and anguish
As the days pass, here rises the death toll
Animals and humans alike
Haven't we all had enough
Isn't this enough
Heaven, can you ease up on the punishment
But I am not the man to ask to be that voice to bear such questions
For honestly it's crossed my own mind in frequent breaths as it does when frustration becomes too much and the world spins too fast for comprehension
As it stands these plastered bricks are asking for it
Asking to be attacked by raging fists over and over, over and over leaving knuckles bloody, bruised, broken, swollen
Pride, my pride is swollen
It's too much for one man but yet here it is weighted and heavy
And it hurts steadily when all these well made plans fall ill to bad luck inside missed opportunities and misguided attempts
They say this place, this life is based upon the pursuit of happiness
So why must we suffer so for a small shred of peace
Why must we suffer so to smile genuinely only for a moment
What is this, what is this I ask
I really have no clue
It's all I've pursued, peace and everlasting happiness
Yet I've had to change, add, subtract, multiply, divide my life
Who I am to satisfy the environment I've been stuck
All in vain, I don't want to say in vain for it makes every breakdown, every breakthrough, every rant, every tear I've ever had mean absolutely nothing
So is this what life amounts to
Nothing
I'm trying, I'm gaining traction, momentum
Hinging my escape on love, for love
But it's one sided, for a steel frame stands in my way and there's no around it
I have no means for a bulldozer nor anything strong enough to tear it down so there it stands as I try to destroy it with my bear hands yet I'm just me and I need help
No help ever comes, I shout and I scream
I cry out with rage and despair like a valiant champion I am but what is a champion when the only one in your world is you
Hard to call for help when there's no one to call
So here's a tidbit for you all
Maybe subconsciously I've never wanted any help
Isn't that what it means to be an adult
Finding ways on your own to make it out alive
Being the master of your own destiny
Being the master of yourself
Being you and not being questioned by how you make your choices
No?
Then what is all this for
I ask you what in the world is all this for
I'm here stuck on this treadmill of a cycle
And no matter how fast I run, how far I travel, I get no closer
So is everything I work towards can just slip out from under me
A carpet trick
If I had a magic carpet maybe my life would be a little easier
If I had this, if I had that
If I made a wish for a well would you wish me well or would I ask for a well of wishes to selfishly abuse or would I send them into the selfish world?