Shadow Of Despair Poem by angel Stein

Gazing out the window and all I can see
Is dust
spiraling around the mid-morning sun
carpeting the ground
threatening to blind
wanting to leave

my hope has abandoned me
and taken with it,
our crops
leaving behind the feeling of loss
and disappointment
I’ll never again rejoice
In the crystal clear rain
Or prance in the mucky brown puddles
That curve and leap with my every twist

The tension in our small house is building
as the dust envelops are kitchen,
the smell of a home-cooked meal
does not
only the smell of wasted hope
and a dirty burning pan
the odor scratches at my nose
and tickles my stomach
momma has burnt meals before,
but never to this degree

I remember when I was once spotless
every ray of light
shined off of my pure white skin,
my sopping wet, lustrous hair
and I could smile without anxious threats
that someone was staring
at the monster we all dreaded
that suffocated are happiness
and consumed our gleaming white smiles
now turned to shadows
the dust we were forced to swallow with supper
was now invading
the last bit of bliss we owned

barely grasping my breath
counting to three
hoping and wishing
uselessly
that we could be saved
perhaps by a billowy suspicious cloud
crying away our misery and torture

Gazing out the corroded window
and all I can recognize
for miles and miles away is
lost hope
wasted talent
and pride in the hearts of the men
who destroyed my peace
and constantly crushed dreams
that I had already let go of
years ago.