Shadows Of A Former Self Poem by cahen thrips

shadows of a cherry tree outside our window
leaves blocking autumn light
fretful in a light breeze -
reflections at edges of my idling vision
flickering images as if a bright zoetrope spins
sunlight teasing at the cupboard door
sliding playful and nervous
calling for my attention
like you would often do -
for a fraction of a scintilla of time
it's an impossible you preparing lunch
or filling a kettle for tea
as you've done so often
in your foreshortened life -
I almost call your name:
when I glance up I see only
shadows of a cherry tree outside my window
leaves blocking autumn light
fretful in a light breeze -
then I recall
why you're not here at all
as I butter a single slice of toast
with no appetite to eat
nor a wish for sunshine -
I always said I'd go first -
in a way that was true:
for without you
I am but my own shadow.