Silent Waiting Poem by lindsey ashton

“Hello mum, it’s only me” I smiled as I walked into her room,
“I can’t stay too long today, I’m afraid I’ll be going soon.
I just popped in to say hello, and make sure you’re ok,
I’ll put the kettle on, make you a brew and then I’ll be on my way”.
Not even a change in expression came over my mothers face,
She just continued to look straight on, miles away in space.
She seems to be getting worse, she doesn’t even know I’m here,
Not a word, movement or a flicker of an eye whenever I come to see her.
The doctors say some days will be worse, but today seems to be a repeat,
Her sitting there in a song of silence, her bottom firm on her seat.
I comb her hair and put on her blush, she’d never been seen unmade,
‘A woman should always look her best, and never let it fade‘.
She had so many sayings and believed in every one,
And now she stays there like a picture, the mother I knew has gone.
“There you go, mum, you’re all made up, and here‘s your cup of tea,
I have to go now, things to do, people I have to see”.
I tried to fight back the tears as I kissed her on her head,
“I’ll be back to see you tonight, mum, before you go to bed”.
The ache in my throat became a sharpening pain as I left her on that chair,
Closing the door behind me, I didn’t want to leave her.
The tears came out as I sat in my car, for weeks she hasn’t said a word,
This is not how I thought she would be, this is not what she deserves.
“hello mum, it’s only me” I smiled as I walked to her bed,
Trying hard to hide the emotions going through my head.
She’s all tucked up like a small child, fragile and weak,
I tell her about my work-filled day as I remove the blush from her cheek,
I stay until she falls asleep, then go, before I’m asleep too,
I put on my coat and open the door, then hear, “I love you”,
I froze, my heart ached, I wanted to cry,
I looked back at her, she smiled.
“I love you too mum” my voice was shaking, I can’t believe she spoke to me,
I went back to her bed and grabbed her hand, “I’ll be better my dear, you’ll see”
Not a word for weeks, now she’s talking fine, “what do you mean mum, how?
How can you be getting better, how do you know this now? ”
“I don’t have to wait anymore, your father told me today,
He said the bad and the illness, is going to be taken away.”
She closed her eyes and laid down her head, “he’s here dear, do you see him?
He said he’s going to take me away, away from the bad I am feeling”.
A stream of calmness run through my veins, then her hand fell from mine,
Now I realise what she meant, that now is her time.
No more will she sit alone in her chair,
Uncomfortable everyday in her confused tired stare.
No longer a silence, no more does she wait,
Free from her own prison and cocoon of heartache.