Sittin' Up In My Room Poem by Mahoghany M

I am scared to lose myself
Again
I am scared to look in the mirror
Once again
And wonder the identity
Of the woman
On the other side
So I stay in my room

Where I cannot lose me
Where I don't have to surrender
Where I know Mahoghany
Is not only a type
Of expensive wood

But the name written on my soul
By the hands of trauma and growth

Is playing it safe the way to go?
It surely seems safer that way
Life is brighter
Food tastes better
When you're happy

I'm ready to taste Life's flesh
and see the beauty within her
But I'm scared
Because the last time
She kicked me
into the arms of someone
Who spat on my heart

I am scared because
I don't want this time
To be like the last

Where I lost myself
To the web of depression
Where I looked into the
Mirror and wondered
Where I went wrong
So I'm going to stay in my room