Small Fish In A Crystal Jar Poem by Dr Shamim ali

I am a small fish, floating in a crystal jar
Feeling miserable that I'm in a different place
I don't know how to pretend everything is okay
When in my little heart I know it's not
I feel things have shifted in a weird way
I hadn't expected, I know I'm not just unreasonable
This is real and there's nothing I can do
Get rid of crystal jar now and channel my pain elsewhere
This crystal jar brought out the worst in me
I don’t have any thing to control except my tears
It's hard to breathe in the crystal jar.
Right now I don't even feel like raising my head high
Instead of seeing blue sky I see hard roof of a room
Right now I feel like hiding myself in suffused sand
Right now I feel like breaking the glass
And walking out of this mess
I put myself back in suffused sand again in distress, and getting nowhere
I just want to be my own hero for once. I want that more than anything.
I cannot spend the rest of my life swimming in small crystal jar
I wish these people would think as deeply for me as they do forthemselves
It is so hard for them to treat this tiny fish with the same compassion

I understand now that it's not circumstances that trapped me
It was my licentious mind, which made me wander here amd there
It was my wandering thoughts which cast me away fom my clan.
I thought exploring the whole river was different
Thought I was different
Different reasons, different circumstances, trapped me forever
I can feel that desperation creeping back in me this time
Desperation walks hand in hand with fear in me
Now it is my fate and destiny to sob and shed tears
It’s the fate of my crystal jar to be filled in with my tears
Instead of sparkling water…